Another day, another clueless prospecting email

Here's a clearly automated email I got from a recruiter, looking to see if they could place one of their unfortunate victims with me. 
Can you tell I loathe the "staffing" business? 

Anyway, this thing is so full of crap it's hard to know where to start.
My company is 100% virtual, with as yet no staff - all contractors, all remote. There's no "work for us" section on my web site. 
And yet, Mr. X here would like me to believe he's checked out my site for opportunities, and found someone I'd like to hire.

Here's a clue:
If you start trying to build a relationship with me by bullshitting your way into my inbox, the best you can expect from me is a cold silence. I will never trust you, and I don't do business with people I don't trust.
On the other hand, I might write a blog post publicly shaming you; if you're lucky I'll leave your name out.
 

Bottom line: you can't automate relationships.

Hi,

My name is XXX XXXX, I am a recruiter for XX XX XX based out of XXXXX. XXX is national based in presence, and specializes in those hard to fill roles across all industry from a contract and direct hire standpoint.

I noticed one of your job openings, and would like to pass along a candidate that I am working with for your review.

Please note that we only get paid per placement.  So to review qualified candidates is free of charge!

If you are interested in reviewing the candidate, please let me know.

Best,

XXX XXXXX